Little Guitars Means I Love My Lady

 

Little Guitars Means I Love My Lady

2/9/2016

 

You say you’re lonesome, just getting by

But you turn your eyes from me

Be sure you’re hurting long before you fly ‘cause you’ve got me

 

            Music has for me captivated my soul in that I know when I can relate to the vibrations of certain artists. I can feel their emotions. Now you might say that that is just a coincidence because they are speaking about something that I have or am currently feeling or experiencing. I think that is only partially true. That part is true for sure, though. Elton John wrote a song called, Sad Song. He talks about the blessings of singing the blues so that it makes someone else out there feel better about the hard times they are going through.

            For me it’s always been deeper than that. It’s not just the words because I listen to many instrumental bands as well. I like Joe Satriani. I listen to flamenco music for hours upon hours. Music then becomes poetry to the soul. I can feel the mood of the music, just as I’m sure many other people can.

            What about people who are not aware of those vibrations within themselves? Does that mean that they are less worthy than those of us who are artistic? Obviously there is a need for different kinds of thinkers in the world. But I also think that to the sleeping soul, to the soul who thinks rationally about everything around him/her, to the soul who has no compassion or empathy, I want nothing to do with that soul. At least I don’t want to expose myself to such shallow existence. 

            I can feel other people’s emotions. Is it some weird freak of nature thing? Probably. More often than not I can feel the stings from a dark soul more than I can feel anything else. The beauty comes from me seeing how my soul processes information, analyses the world around me, and then forces me to express myself.

            I have expressed myself in love, in hate, in indifference, in jealousy, in anger, in tears and in laughter. I have always felt that there must be something wrong with the people around me, who don’t recognize this beauty and that there is nothing wrong with the way I am communicating the fire inside my heart.

            When I was 19 years old, I was living in Army housing in Europe. I was enjoying the good German culture and beer. I took an old Strat with me downstairs into the basement with me. I’d sit there for hours and play my guitar. I’d listen to songs like this from Van Halen. I always wanted to have that sort of creative genius that those guys had. There was also this part of me that felt that you had to be born with this innate talent; that the practice was always fun because the angels were holding your hands.

            Now that I have written for the last three years (five-seven years if you include college) and my recent activity of painting, I feel that the passion is born into your heart. But you have to work it out, and I mean work the shit out of it.

            You see, the haters don’t see you when you put in the late nights alone. They don’t see you frustrated. They don’t encourage you to keep on keeping on. Yet that is the life of anyone who pursues his passions. I may never write well enough to publish a single word of my life. In fact, writing and getting published is more about good marketing. I may have more luck with painting, but then again, I didn’t go to any good art schools. I wasn’t the pupil of a renowned artist. I don’t have the credentials of a worthy artist.

            But you see, that’s where music comes in. Music shows that you can and probably will suck for years upon years before you begin to get good. Pantera used to do nothing but cover songs for years (a lot of Van Halen and Metallica songs) before they started getting noticed for their own stuff. They were in a learning phase all those years. It’s kind of a test phase too. Many people cannot handle the blow to the ego to know that despite your best efforts, you kind of suck. I struggle all the time with that, because I know the passion that I was born for this stuff is the highest thing I have ever experienced.

            With art, my life has been more fulfilling than the rest of the years of my life before that, combined. The writer, Paulo Coelho, talks about in his book, The Alchemist, where we dreamers are on this long quest to find treasure. We put ourselves through many tests and tribulations before realizing that the treasure that we have been looking for the whole time was inside ourselves. It was our creative soul. That is how I feel.

            This Van Halen song is about a man who loves his senorita woman. It can be any woman and it will be the same. Is the writer of this song trying to say that he has never met or been with another woman besides the one he is singing about? I think hardly. In a man’s life, he may go from one woman to another. He may look for that treasure inside the soul of another woman. Life during these times will play a sick joke on him.

            Despite all the physical pleasures or temporary emotional comfort a new woman can bring, it does nothing to dampen the void inside his heart. Either he will continue on this fruitless pursuit towards his own destruction, or he will listen to the chaos of his heart to stop and first learn to become one with himself. He may even at some point recline to the fact that he is probably not meant to be with anyone but himself. He will wander the world alone for it would be better for him to be polluted with only himself, than to spread his lonely disease to someone else.

            He may pass by the shadows of the night, only to see the hands of lovers embrace each other, while he realizes that he is but an animal, alone in the world, focusing on his survival; lost and without love.

            And then she appears. Not just another number or another playful activity; someone who makes being around very easy. Her soul compliments yours and just her smile lights up the room. Your need for survival never ends. Your wish to be comforted in a world that will one day blow the dust of your existence out to sea is realized when you strive to find the comfort in this partner who gets just as excited to see you.

            Is it child-like emotion? Probably. Do those feelings last forever? If not, we want to make them last as long as forever can last. Most of the music, poetry, and painting out in the world today and yesterday have everything to do with holding onto that love and alleviating some of the pressures and pains of this world. No one is strong enough to be alone forever. Artistic expression is about comforting the ones we want to love and hoping the ones we have comforted will return to us that love.

This song and this essay is for my baby, my girlfriend. I kissed you today on the cheek in front of your friends because I don’t care what the neighbors say. I’m going to love you, each and every day.

Jissoseph out!